Your Favorite Celebrity Is Still Alive!

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by on August 24, 2011 at 12:54 AM

Scheezo

Twenty years ago it would be news if your favorite celebrity died.  Especially if that celebrity was someone like George Clooney who is relatively young, seemingly healthy and has taken life by the balls.  To open the Sunday paper and read that George Clooney is alive on the front page was unheard of.  Yet, in this strange online world in which we live in, the equivalent is heard of.

These days if you want to pull a prank on the world and declare someone dead, its pretty easy to fool the world with just a few things.  There are actually a couple different directions you could go with this one.  The first thing you will need is a twitter account.  Next, you’ll either need access to a website with a convincing URL such as “http://www.RealCelebrityNews.com” or hundreds of gullible followers.  My guess is the easiest route to take will be the hundreds of gullible followers, but website wouldn’t hurt either.

If you do choose to go with the website you’l need to copy your favorite cable news or local TV news website and post an article stating so and so has passed away.  You need only write three real paragraphs max.  No one will read more than that before they start tweeting “OMG! GUESS WHO DIED?!”  After that you can write “blah blah blah” or “Sike!”  At this point, whether you’ve set up a web page or not you need a lot of followers, preferably people who don’t know you but like to retweet you.  From there you just start tweeting “OMG! CHARLIE BROWN IS DEAD!”

In this age of social media, pranksters and people who don’t verify anything before they post something as a fact, its way too easy to pass off a hoax on the masses.  This isn’t limited to 13 year olds or the guy in the trailer park sitting around in his underwear collecting social security.  Many “legitimate” journalists have been fooled as well.  In 2009 a college student named Shane Fitzgerald edited the wikipedia page of deceased composer Maurice Jarre to include a false quote. Wikipedia is often used as a resource for journalists yet they never verified the validity of this quote. The sad thing was no one noticed that this was a hoax until a month later when the student finally fessed up.  This is a great reason why we should not trust journalists or anyone else on the internet!

in Celebrity, Featured, Pop Culture
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Observations Of A Celebrity Critic

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by on August 21, 2011 at 4:04 PM

When you were young your parents told you you could be anything you wanted to be when you grow up.  While this might be true, many people do not grow up to become what they wanted to be.  This is especially true of people who want to work in the entertainment industry as an actor or model.  So when little Jane grows up and goes off to college only to graduate and see that her friend Janet who didn’t go to college is now a famous actress, what is Jane to do?

Little Jane studied journalism or English with a minor in acting and ends up working for a magazine.  With a little hard work and a calculated move to New York City she wakes up one day an attractive, slightly overweight, 25 year old party girl who tells people why their favorite celebrity’s red carpet ensemble sucks for a living.

I’ve made many observations in this celebrity obsessed world we live in.  Lately, every time I turn on the cable news channels I see more and more celebrity news.  Whenever there is a celebrity news story that makes headlines such as the royal wedding or J.Lo splitting up with her man, we see a Jane.  The irony of Jane is that I’m willing to bet her dream was to become a celebrity herself but she ended up not having the look.  As a result, she’s writing magazine articles about celebrities who do have the look, thus securing her own fate of never having the look.

You may be wondering what the look is.  The look, my friend, is thin, beautiful and full of botox.  Jane, however, is slightly overweight, just pretty and uses only makeup to hide her imperfections.  How can anyone take these people seriously?  The answer is their readers.

The reader is a soccer mom who barely gets dressed each day, is more overweight and needs someone to live vicariously through.  Its an endless pyramid that does nothing but make us all feel bad about ourselves.

The real interesting thing is Jane often writes articles about how bad so-and-so-flavor-of-the-week looked on the red carpet last night.  I’ve done research and found that many of these critics are very poorly dressed themselves.  No wonder the celebrities can’t stand them.

Next time you’re watching a cable news anchor interview a fashion or celebrity expert, you’ll see I’m right.

 

in Celebrity, Fashion, Featured
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