When you were young your parents told you you could be anything you wanted to be when you grow up. While this might be true, many people do not grow up to become what they wanted to be. This is especially true of people who want to work in the entertainment industry as an actor or model. So when little Jane grows up and goes off to college only to graduate and see that her friend Janet who didn’t go to college is now a famous actress, what is Jane to do?
Little Jane studied journalism or English with a minor in acting and ends up working for a magazine. With a little hard work and a calculated move to New York City she wakes up one day an attractive, slightly overweight, 25 year old party girl who tells people why their favorite celebrity’s red carpet ensemble sucks for a living.
I’ve made many observations in this celebrity obsessed world we live in. Lately, every time I turn on the cable news channels I see more and more celebrity news. Whenever there is a celebrity news story that makes headlines such as the royal wedding or J.Lo splitting up with her man, we see a Jane. The irony of Jane is that I’m willing to bet her dream was to become a celebrity herself but she ended up not having the look. As a result, she’s writing magazine articles about celebrities who do have the look, thus securing her own fate of never having the look.
You may be wondering what the look is. The look, my friend, is thin, beautiful and full of botox. Jane, however, is slightly overweight, just pretty and uses only makeup to hide her imperfections. How can anyone take these people seriously? The answer is their readers.
The reader is a soccer mom who barely gets dressed each day, is more overweight and needs someone to live vicariously through. Its an endless pyramid that does nothing but make us all feel bad about ourselves.
The real interesting thing is Jane often writes articles about how bad so-and-so-flavor-of-the-week looked on the red carpet last night. I’ve done research and found that many of these critics are very poorly dressed themselves. No wonder the celebrities can’t stand them.
Next time you’re watching a cable news anchor interview a fashion or celebrity expert, you’ll see I’m right.
