Working in an office building is like a new adventure every day. The difference between the people is amazing. Some people seem so uncomfortable to even be around another human being while others act like a company of 400+ people doesn’t have enough people in it. There are a few situations where the human dynamics really shine!
The Bathroom
There are certain laws that govern the bathroom and some people follow them and others clearly do not. The general rules of the bathroom say you do not talk to one another unless you are both in the sink area. Once you enter the toilet area you should avoid eye contact and speaking at all costs.
Once you are safely in a stall you must remain quiet. You want people to be baffled that the door is closed and locked because you never want to alert anyone that you’re there. If your body decides that it will alert people against your will you absolutely must cover this alert up with a polite cough. When you reach for toilet paper you must be as quiet as you can. Toilet paper manufacturers do not make the cardboard tubing inside the roll symmetrical so if you pull too hard the toilet paper roll will bounce and make a lot of noise alerting people to the fact that you are inside the stall. Once you are wiped and clean you must plan your exit carefully. You want to make sure no one is in the common area of the bathroom because you don’t want anyone to see you. They must either exit or be in a stall themselves. If someone walks up to the urinal you can try to sneak out without alerting them but this is quite a risky move.
For the love of all that is good in the world, do NOT forget to wash your hands.
The Hallway
The hallway is another funny place although it is not nearly as funny as the bathroom. When two people are walking in opposite directions toward each other this is a very uncomfortable situation for many people. You will find three types of people.
The first type will avoid eye contact at all costs. They will look in to offices as they walk, stare at the floor or even pull out their phones and act like they’re texting or emailing and are far too busy to notice you’re there.
The second type of person is the type who craves attention. They will stare you down until you’re in vocal range and then smile and ask you how you are doing. These are the friendliest kind. They will sometimes talk to several people in their cubicals as they move throughout the office having one continuous conversation no matter who is talking back or even if they’re talking back at all.
The third is a hybrid of the two. They will carefully plan their greeting ahead of time. They see you a good distance away and look away as if they haven’t seen you. At the last second they’ll look up and act like they suddenly noticed you and greet you.
Working in a large office is as exciting as walking a large city. I wouldn’t want to work anywhere else! Tell me about your office! Am I right?
