“The truth shall set you free” – Jesus

There is a new mental illness called “Facebook Depression” that is sweeping the nation!  While researchers are still trying to figure out if this is a real ailment or simply another way already depressed people become depressed more, I’m jumping on the band wagon and have decided to become depressed from using facebook.  I never like to be the last person to adopt new technology or at least mental illnesses cause from new technologies.  I was one of my first friends to get Blackberry Thumb after all!

So how does one go about getting facebook depression if that’s what they think their calling is in life?  Funny you ask.  Facebook is a place where people come in masses to talk about how wonderful their lives are.  More and more we read about our friend Jeff who seemingly has the perfect life. Jeff wakes up well rested every day, has the latest video games and is always swinging in his hammock.  We look at pictures of Jeff on the beach having a grand time with lots of beautiful women and take a look around our house and see nothing but normalcy.  Well, we can’t have that so we plan a trip to the zoo and take 200 pictures.  For the next 200 days we post a new picture about how fun the zoo was and let people comment and tell us how wonderful our lives are.  We live pay check to pay check but we have 200 more days before we have to go somewhere else and take more pictures so we’re golden!  Now, we’re just like Jeff and every day is amazing.

Social networks are a great place where we can post great things about our lives for everyone to see and envy.  Its something that is intoxicating and the more we do it, the more we want to do it.  Meanwhile, poor Janet has just started using facebook and isn’t going to the zoo every day for 200 straight days.  Janet’s life sucks in comparison.  She has to get up at the butt-crack of dawn and go to a job where she’s under paid and over worked.  Soon Janet starts to feel depressed because everyone from her college days is living the dream.  Janet plans a trip to go out with co-workers to the local bar and takes 90 pictures of her and her friends partying.  Now Janet’s life is one big party for the next 90 days.

What everyone doesn’t know is that while they post a picture of them at the zoo every day they know its fake and yearn for a life like their friend Janet but Janet is depressed because its been 50 days since she went out and wants to go to the zoo every day like you.  Instead of being real people post the best of the best of their lives.  And this is how you are becoming fake.

The world cannot wait for Steve Jobs, in his blue jeans and black mock turtle neck, to get up on a stage and start telling us about the latest and greatest iPhone. The iPhone 5 will no doubt be an impressive device packed full of cool new features that will set it far beyond the latest android device and light years ahead of any blackberry. Instantly the Apple website will be hammered with people looking for information on it. AT&T and Verizon will start licking their chops as pre-orders start rolling in by the thousands. APPL will suddenly be the only stock on any market that is going up. It will be another exciting time in America and the rest of the world.

You will think to yourself that you need this phone because of all the amazing features. This simply is not true, however. The real reason you will want this device will be because Steve Jobs is the world’s greatest salesperson.

For a couple years I worked as a salesman at a Nissan dealer. I had to quit because I was too honest and had to work too hard for a sale. My sales manager was always preaching to us that we should do a world class product presentation to our customers. Go around the car, point to everything on the car and give them a feature, a benefit and then close them on that thought. For example, “This is our retina display. This makes everything look amazing. That’s incredible!” Steve Jobs’ presentations are full of this. You don’t want it because of the amazing features, you want it because you’ve been sold dozens of times on this product to the point that you really believe you have to have it.

Very few things sell themselves. Food and drugs are about the only things I can think of. Even with these items there is a lot of competition in these markets. Marketing has a lot to do with sales but ultimately you have to be sold on an item through marketing. I am not saying it is a bad thing to buy an iPhone, I like them a lot, but you only think you want it because it is cool.